Real Dilemma: Can you ask your guests to pay to come to your wedding?

So in the news this week we heard of the groom who asked guests to pay £150 to attend their wedding. In a world where the average wedding guest forks out £600 per wedding they attend (includes Hen/Stag do, gifts, new outfits, accommodation and drinks) is this okay? Is t cheeky or does it make good financial sense? Would you ask your guests to pay to come to your wedding?

A couple unable to afford their dream wedding have asked guests to contribute up to £150 each to attend, under a "business model" devised by the groom.

Ben Farina said his wedding to Clare Moran in June will be "like an all-inclusive holiday" for those attending.

The charge includes a three-night stay at a venue in Derbyshire, which has a pool and spa.

The groom denied being "tight" and insisted the idea had "gone down well" with guests.

The groom said he planned it all before he proposed so he knew they could afford their dream wedding. He said the back up plan was to have a much smaller day if the guests had a problem with his idea.£9000 towards the £10,000 wedding is being raised by all their guests happily paying £150 to attend which has been sold to them by the groom as a three day all inclusive holiday. And we have to say the guests are getting a good deal. The weekend includes three nights stay, a hog roast on the day of the wedding (paid for by the grooms mum) and a Sunday roast the day after the wedding (cooked and paid for by the grooms stepdad who works as a chef). It also includes alcohol throughout the weekend that the couple are buying over coming months in supermarkets when deals are on. The venue has a spa, an indoor swimming pool and a games room so there is plenty to enjoy throughout their stay.

The couple said they paid a small fortune attending a friends wedding and said on average most people attending a wedding will cough up about £100 on a room and £50 at the bar. All he's done is ask the guests to pay him direct instead of the venue.

The idea went down well with the guests as every single one has paid their deposit.

It got us thinking here at Whitewed whether more people will do the same, and we think they already are!

How many couples book an "exclusive use" venue and sell the rooms back to the guests to recoup some of the package costs from the venue? How many couples ask for money as a gift, with some even thinking of paying off debt with it (so in a roundabout way the guests are paying towards the wedding). Many couples in the future can learn a trick or two here and it shows you shouldn’t be put off by large venues with onsite accommodation. Many venues include the rooms as part of their wedding packages so couples have control over who stays and effectively how much they pay. Some don’t feel comfortable asking for money, but this just shows people are willing to pay...as long as they know they are getting a good deal.

The other thing that stood out was the parents helping with the food, which is a huge help as catering takes a large chuck of the wedding budget.

People always want value for money and in this case the groom put a strong case together which proved the £150 would be well spent. Would a couple be able to ask for financial donations towards a wedding from every guest? We don’t think so! It’s just the done thing. A bride was heavily criticised on a forum for thinking it was okay to ask guests for £20 to pay for their food, justifying it as no different to booking a restaurant and people paying their way.

We think it's okay, but it depends on how you ask, what you're charging and what guests get in return. If you're asking guests to pay for their own food, drink, accommodation and not putting your hand in your own pocket for them, it doesn’t seem like a very fair deal! If you’re simply asking to them to cover things they’d probably end up paying for anyway, it makes sense.

Ultimately, weddings cost money whether you’re a guest or the couple. Fair play to this pair for making it work for them.

Happy planning!

Team Whitewed xSo in the news this week we heard of the groom who asked guests to pay £150 to attend their wedding. In a world where the average wedding guest forks out £600 per wedding they attend (includes Hen/Stag do, gifts, new outfits, accommodation and drinks) is this okay? Is it cheeky or does it make good financial sense? Would you ask your guests to pay to come to your wedding?

A couple unable to afford their dream wedding have asked guests to contribute up to £150 each to attend, under a "business model" devised by the groom.

Ben Farina said his wedding to Clare Moran in June will be "like an all-inclusive holiday" for those attending.

The charge includes a three-night stay at a venue in Derbyshire, which has a pool and spa.

The groom denied being "tight" and insisted the idea had "gone down well" with guests.

The groom said he planned it all before he proposed so he knew they could afford their dream wedding. He said the back up plan was to have a much smaller day if the guests had a problem with his idea.£9000 towards the £10,000 wedding is being raised by all their guests happily paying £150 to attend which has been sold to them by the groom as a three day all inclusive holiday. And we have to say the guests are getting a good deal. The weekend includes three nights stay, a hog roast on the day of the wedding (paid for by the grooms mum) and a Sunday roast the day after the wedding (cooked and paid for by the grooms stepdad who works as a chef). It also includes alcohol throughout the weekend that the couple are buying over coming months in supermarkets when deals are on. The venue has a spa, an indoor swimming pool and a games room so there is plenty to enjoy throughout their stay.

The couple said they paid a small fortune attending a friends wedding and said on average most people attending a wedding will cough up about £100 on a room and £50 at the bar. All he's done is ask the guests to pay him direct instead of the venue.

The idea went down well with the guests as every single one has paid their deposit.

It got us thinking here at Whitewed whether more people will do the same, and we think they already are!

How many couples book an "exclusive use" venue and sell the rooms back to the guests to recoup some of the package costs from the venue? How many couples ask for money as a gift, with some even thinking of paying off debt with it (so in a roundabout way the guests are paying towards the wedding). Many couples in the future can learn a trick or two here and it shows you shouldn’t be put off by large venues with onsite accommodation. Many venues include the rooms as part of their wedding packages so couples have control over who stays and effectively how much they pay. Some don’t feel comfortable asking for money, but this just shows people are willing to pay...as long as they know they are getting a good deal.

The other thing that stood out was the parents helping with the food, which is a huge help as catering takes a large chuck of the wedding budget.

People always want value for money and in this case the groom put a strong case together which proved the £150 would be well spent. Would a couple be able to ask for financial donations towards a wedding from every guest? We don’t think so! It’s just the done thing. A bride was heavily criticised on a forum for thinking it was okay to ask guests for £20 to pay for their food, justifying it as no different to booking a restaurant and people paying their way.

We think it's okay, but it depends on how you ask, what you're charging and what guests get in return. If you're asking guests to pay for their own food, drink, accommodation and not putting your hand in your own pocket for them, it doesn’t seem like a very fair deal! If you’re simply asking to them to cover things they’d probably end up paying for anyway, it makes sense.

Ultimately, weddings cost money whether you’re a guest or the couple. Fair play to this pair for making it work for them.